My GF!

Last Sunday evening, me and a Sai_devotee_friend of mine were talking about the topic, "Who is the truest friend? ". I said, "I shall always choose Swami as my eternal companion."

The Sai friend said, "Good! Stick to it!".

We spoke for sometime and after the chat, I came out to the elevator (I was chatting on phone sitting at my desk at my workplace).

I was in the 4th floor and had to go down to the Ground Floor to go home.

I was still thinking of the topic we talked about. I said to Swami, "Swami! Please do not let me fall into any worldly attachments. If at all a confusion arises anytime, please show me the solution; show me a way to choose "You" alone".

And I entered the elevator. I had to push a button to go to the ground floor. That meant I had to push the button named "GF". A voice suddenly asked me, "So, you would choose to have a Girl Friend?".

I replied, "No!". But I must go only to the Ground Floor to be able to go home and I had no other option than to push the button "GF".

I said, "O Swami! I just pleaded You to be kind enough not to confront me with any confusing situations. But if You have decided to test me, then please show me the solution too!!"

Few moments passed.

And then....I spoke out loudly, "Yes! I choose to have .... God Friend" and pushed the "GF" button and leaned back with a sigh and a smile.

That wonder filled night...

Yesterday I was watching the movie "Panduranga Mahaathmyam". It's the story of a devotee called "Pundareeka". Most of his youth, he spends waywardly without any devotion to God. One sudden day, he meets a sage and then he changes forever.

The movie had 3 CDs. I finished the first 2 Cds and yet, as per the story, Pundareeka had not become a devotee! He was still un-changed in his character. I wondered, "Am I watching the story of a spoilt youth or that of a great devotee of God? What magic is gonna happen now to this guy in the last one CD, after all?"

And yes, a magic happened. One night and that's it, Pundareeka changes forever. The one who never paid heed to his parents, the one who ran after material pleasures all his youth changes in one night. The very first time, he sits in Pooja before the Lord, he goes into trance filled with devotional ecstasy. When his mother wonders at this miracle, his father replies, "That is his poorva janma sukritham - the merit of his past lives!"

Sometimes, I wonder if I have any such merit. May be one night I would sleep, and then by the time, I get up the next day, I would have no desire except Sai! Only His Name I remember, only His Form would appear to my eyes, wherever I see. I would know no pain, no pleasure, but one love. I would know no joy, no grief, except my Swami's thought. I would be in love with Him. Yes, I would be. Even if I had no great merits, I will strive and acquire them now. I would be in love soon. Very soon. And then this blog would be empty. Because my Swami said that when one is in love with Him totally, one cannot talk anymore. When experience fills and fulfills, there is no expression anymore. When the entire universe is filled with Swami and only Swami and none else, to whom shall I narrate my lovestory?

Yes, He loves me :)

ABDUL RAZAK BABURAO KORBU, a Muslim devotee wrote a sweet book on Baba. It's called "SAI SATHYA SAKHA (Sai - My True Friend)". It is available online here:

http://sss.vn.ua/sss_engl.htm

I just started reading it yesterday night. I am copy-pasting an extract from it below:

Extract start:

After darsan was over, Baba came straight to me and the following conversation took place on the veranda between Baba and me.

Baba – "What is your First name, sir?"

(Why Baba Calls me by "sir" I understood later on.)

I – "Abdul Razaak."

Baba – "What is the meaning of Abdul?"

I – "A devotee."

Baba – "What is the meaning of Razaak?"

I fumbled and could not answer immediately. Then Baba himself said.

Baba – "Razaak means Allah. What is the meaning of Allah?"

I – "God."

Baba – "That is not quite correct. Allah means all high – above all, that is the meaning of Parameshwar – Param Ishwar. No difference – Allah and Parameshwar are one – this whole existence – this vishwa!"

For the first time Baba talked so much with me in the veranda. Everyone in the veranda was listening to Baba. Sri Gokak, Kasturi, Bhagavantham etc. I became blank, almost hypnotised.

Then Baba said, "Come!" and started walking.

I could not understand and got confused.

Sri Kasturi was standing nearby. He could realise my condition and came to my rescue saying, "Swami has decided to give you a solo interview. Very fortunate. Go into His room."

I got up and started walking towards Baba's room. He was standing near the door. I went near him and stood bending forward with folded hands. (It is my opinion that no one, even Baba's critics can not stand straight in His close proximity)

Sri Gokak was also there, and he was watching us smilingly. Baba looked at Sri Gokak and pointing towards me said to him, "Poor man, I love him."

Extract End.

Ok, enough of third person narration :) Now, let me continue. When I read this statement of Baba "Poor man, I love him.", I just shouted to Baba, "I am also a poor man, my Baba! Love me! Tell me that You love me, please!!" Baba did not show any response from the picture on my desk. So, helplessly, I continued reading....See now below the continutation of the extract:

Extract- continuation:

Then facing towards me Baba said in Hindi, "Andar Jao Abdul. (Go inside the room, Abdul.)"

I went inside, then Baba came in.

Baba switched on the fan and sat on his special chair.

I sat at his feet and started weeping profusely.

Baba – "Sit properly and do not make noise by your weeping. Why fear when I am here. You are Abdul – my Abdul, and I am your Razak – you know, is it not?"

Extract End.

And I was in tears here. He loves me. :) Yes, He does. :)

My full name is Pardha Saradhi. :) And I hear Baba telling me exactly same words as above!

"Sit properly and do not make noise by your weeping. Why fear when I am here. You are Pardha – my Pardha, and I am your Saradhi – you know, is it not?"

:))))) Happy, very happpy.

The dialogue for Abdul Razzak is: You are Abdul-my Abdul, I am your Razzak
The dialogue for Pardha Saradhi is: You are Pardha-my Pardha, I am your Saradhi

(Pardha is the name of Arjuna. And his Saradhi, charioteer is Krishna. And that's what my Swami is to me, my personalized Krishna :) And ya....I have never learnt to drive. Why does Arjuna need to, when he has his charioteer? :))

Did you try this combo?

I love singing to Him. That's the best thing I can think of doing at anytime. And when I sing, I want to know that He hears me.

From past one week, I have been staying in a friend's room. The room did not have any pic of Baba. But then, I felt like singing. And I started singing one of my favorite songs from Sri Sathya Sai Geetamulu. It goes like, "Chenthacherchavelanamma Shiva thaayi, Naa chintha dheerchavelanamma Shiva thaayi". It means,

Take me near, Shiva thaayi
Why don't You make me happy?

This song is composed by an old devotee of Swami called Sri Rama Sharma. He was neither a poet nor a musician, but became both when Baba touched him. When Rama Sharma used to struggle to get an idea for his song, the Supreme Poet Baba would come and write the first two lines for him and then say, "Continue from here..." and then a beautiful song used to flow from his pen.

And when he sang it, it used to fall into a mellifluous Raga, though Rama Sharma had no classical music knowledge at all. Does the CD player need to know music to play the CD placed in it?

This song is one of those which had a heart-touching tune and words. I started singing and looked around for Swami's presence. Now this room is not mine, but still I was searching for His traces. And...lo and behold, this pic was there right in the cupboard :)



Let me explain the beauty in His response. The song aptly addresses Swami as "Shiva Thaayi". Thaayi means Mother. So, Shiva thaayi means calling Swami as an embodiment of both Shiva and Shakthi! And that He is anyway. The beautiful thing here is, He appeared to me exactly in the same way I addressed Him - as Shiva and Shakti OR Shiva Thaayi. Not in His usual Manamohana red robed Form!

Yadbhaavam Tadbhavathi.

In 11th century, Annamayya sang,

Thalathuru mimu saivulu - thagina bhakthulunoo shivudanuchu
Sarinennuduru shaaktheyulu shakti roopu neevanuchu

Those Shaivaites and devotees alike, think of You as Shiva
And the worshippers of Shakti, say You are the embodiment of Shakti
Whatever...You take that Form, which they love to see You in!

After a gap of 9 centuries, I verified this statement, but with a slight variety. I tried a combintation of both the choices (Shiva, Shakti). And so He appeared. :)

A life in Love

He talks to me. Everyday, every single moment.

From past few months, I have been meditating on this fact that Sri Sathya Sai is my indweller and NOT separate from me in anyway. That He is basically mine, my Baba. And yes!!! He reflects my love. He is the resound of my heart-beat. The reaction to every act of my love. And this shower of Love has been too profuse, all day I am soaking in that. Therefore, I had to start this blog so that I would not miss recording these beautiful moments which define my life.

And here I go......here are the moments I spent with My Sai, My indweller, Mine, my Own.