That wonder filled night...

Yesterday I was watching the movie "Panduranga Mahaathmyam". It's the story of a devotee called "Pundareeka". Most of his youth, he spends waywardly without any devotion to God. One sudden day, he meets a sage and then he changes forever.

The movie had 3 CDs. I finished the first 2 Cds and yet, as per the story, Pundareeka had not become a devotee! He was still un-changed in his character. I wondered, "Am I watching the story of a spoilt youth or that of a great devotee of God? What magic is gonna happen now to this guy in the last one CD, after all?"

And yes, a magic happened. One night and that's it, Pundareeka changes forever. The one who never paid heed to his parents, the one who ran after material pleasures all his youth changes in one night. The very first time, he sits in Pooja before the Lord, he goes into trance filled with devotional ecstasy. When his mother wonders at this miracle, his father replies, "That is his poorva janma sukritham - the merit of his past lives!"

Sometimes, I wonder if I have any such merit. May be one night I would sleep, and then by the time, I get up the next day, I would have no desire except Sai! Only His Name I remember, only His Form would appear to my eyes, wherever I see. I would know no pain, no pleasure, but one love. I would know no joy, no grief, except my Swami's thought. I would be in love with Him. Yes, I would be. Even if I had no great merits, I will strive and acquire them now. I would be in love soon. Very soon. And then this blog would be empty. Because my Swami said that when one is in love with Him totally, one cannot talk anymore. When experience fills and fulfills, there is no expression anymore. When the entire universe is filled with Swami and only Swami and none else, to whom shall I narrate my lovestory?